"It's purely sexual." "No shit?"

[dreamer_easy]

Prior to a hasty flocking¹, a naughty nameless person was complaining that my Doctor Who novels are merely an excuse for indulging my fetishes. I protest! I prefer the term "perversions"!

It's hardly the first time someone's pointed out the suspicious link between my perpetual crush on the Doctor and the rougher than usual handling he received in my books for Virgin and the Beeb. I've puzzled about this for years - there are perfectly sensible writerly reasons to kick hell out of your characters, but those scenes of hurt and comfort drove my narratives (to the point where even I started taking the piss). In actual TV episodes, I find them more riveting than any other part of the story.

The thing is, it can't actually be a fetish; bluntly, it doesn't sexually arouse me. I have a few strange little turn-ons, just like anyone (not that you'll be hearing about those in this blog, dear reader), and I can tell the difference between them and, say, 42 or Set Piece. I don't think it's sadism, either - I always end up identifying with the victim, not the other guy. And my heart goes pit-a-pat for, say, the Fourth Doctor getting zapped in The Android Invasion, even though I'm incapable of fancying Tom Baker. In the immortal words of Sonny Crockett: "What the hell is going on here?!"

My current theory is that it's some sort of sublimated parasexual thingumy to do with heroic suffering (something I am crap at myself). Like Christian girls falling in non-sexual love with Jesus. Does this tally with anyone else's experience? Is hurt/comfort an actual turn-on for you, or just a strange fascination?

1 I'm wrong! It's just cut now, which I guess is why it fell off Google Blogs search.

Comments

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

which episode was this...hammond's first one back in the saddle? if so then you really should see the whole episode...the bits they filmed before the actual crash are alarmingly ironic, and clarkson greeting a newly-returned hammond with a big burly man-cuddle is just about the sweetest thing i've ever seen on television.

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

That's the episode. I have it on the set top box to watch again (also because the bit about fixing the local road in 24 hours was hilarious, and so wrong). Clarkson actually choked up when he introduced him, and Hammond's embarrasment at all the fuss was delightful. I am so glad that the Hamster made it.

kate if you're reading this, you can come over to my place to see it. I'll even pick you up and take you home.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

You're too kind! I have actually seen it (BBC site again). But we shall get together in any case so I can chuck the biog at you.

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

You have to come over sometime and meet Trixie (ie the Fluffy Princess). i also vaguely remembering that I promised dinner to you and John (not sure on who's blog), as soon as I work out what to cook you.

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

i'm so glad clarkson gave him that big manly bear-hug, because that's exactly what every single person watching at home and in the audience wanted to do, too.

'eeee, he's okay!' *glomp*!

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

Then Hammond goes to hug May, who prefers a manly handshake... *giggles helplessly at the memory*

As for the bear-hug, never have I noticed the difference in their heights as much as then. I though Clarkson was going to accidentally throttle Hammond.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

"I don't want to go upside down."

[qthewetsprocket.livejournal.com]

'...and possibly the biggest accident you've ever seen in your life.'

thankfully, clarkson and may giving him shit for it afterwards made up for the brief moments of 'omg!' and uncharacteristic nicety, though. :)

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

Very much a case of be careful about what you say....