I've never quite been able to reconcile my Doctor Who loving side with my other more hormonal pursuits. (The question of "why not" has always intrigued me -- especially since I discovered them both around the same time (eleven years old) and being gay and growing up in the American Midwest, both were lonely pursuits that made me feel even more like an outsider than I already was.)

And even though the past few Doctors (plus Davison in his prime) would certainly "do it for me", I've still never been hot for the Doctor or his crew (with the exception of some of the black and white dudes -- but even that is a sort of a clean cut attraction to their clean cuttedness.)

I even dodged the bullet with Barrowman because I always seem to subconsciously dissuade myself from getting into celebrities who are actually openly gay (probably in some sad, self-esteem-face-saving way that means that when they admit to be being "more potentially available than usual" would somehow be setting myself up for disappointment if I ever met them and they didn't jump at the chance to...well, jump at my chance...)

But there's something about Young Mr. Smith...who is depending on my mood, by turns, too young and too angular and too skinny to be my type...but yet in certain pictures...but yet,...but yet....

I guess this is my long winded way of saying that I totally know what you're saying. Or at least have some inkling of your doom. If I've properly interpreted "oing." If not, I'm so wrong. But still feel glad to get that off my chest to someone who may understand.