Oh help

[dreamer_easy]

Having a moment of premenstrual social phobia panic about Gally. After cocking up at Chicago TARDIS year before last I'll be on rather better behaviour, but I'll still need to do the Chicks Dig Time Lords panel, and there and elsewhere I'm going to be surrounded by people I've clashed with online. My perception, in fact, is that wherever I go at the con, the crowd will be thinking "Oh noes, it's that overentitled racist misogynist wank magnet."

No, OK, Kate, think this through. IRL people almost never act the way they do in cyberspace, including you. It's very rare for someone to make a personal attack during a panel. For that matter, you've changed your online style, partly due to the hard lesson of that bad panel in Chicago - bit more relaxed, bit more gentle. Surely that's going to translate to the real world. Plus, like everyone online, you overestimate the number of people who hold a given opinion - whether about the show or about you. And that bad panel didn't stop you from having a blast at other panels.

So. One corner of online politics is not the whole of fandom. I'm not likely to end up in an actual confrontation. If a discussion becomes heated, I know to step back and chill out and shut up :). It'll all be good anxiety therapy. It'll be fine, like it almost always is.

I'm still never going to WisCon, though.

(You know, I really really ought to flock this posting, but fandom's full of people with social phobia, some of whom are probably thinking similar aaaaargh thoughts about the con. We ought to form a club. Hermits United. And wear a badge, a smiley or something, which indicates "I'm shy too.")

Comments

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

Personally, I've always found you a lovely and enjoyable person to be around.

I was extremely shy in my teens. Then at uni, at a party, I realised I could sit inthe corner and be shy, and no one would talk to me, or I had to make myself walk out of the corner and talk to people. Sometimes, you just have to push through the barrier.

The main peoblem now it that I talk too much.

[outsdr.livejournal.com]

I'd love to meet you some day, but the idea of a con (crowds, noise, chaos) scares the crap out of me.

[matthewwolff.livejournal.com]

You are a charming, witty, funny, fun, all around awesome person in real life, and any real person would feel the same. If someone doesn't see that, then they aren't a real person and all, and fuck them. I know that's not really a constructive attitude to propose to combat social phobia, but what the hell, it's the truth. There's nothing you're going to be able to do for those people, and absolutely nothing at all they can do to you. :)

[antiwesley.livejournal.com]

You've always been a good person to have discussions with online, even though we don't agree on some issues, and I regret missing the chance of visiting when I was Down Under.

I never knew about WisCon, and it's in my own home state, and having read some of the information and reactions to something that happened last year, I really don't want to go either now that I know about it.

Whenever you feel down about yourself, look at that shelf. You know what shelf. That shelf that has all those books with the name "Kate Orman" on them. Then think of all the people whom you have met, and not had hair-ripping arguments with and smile a smug smile, because you've been able to do things that others haven't because of who you are.

[iblis-kukl.livejournal.com]

since nobody else did it...

[jvowles.livejournal.com]

Hermits United

We could meet up every ten years and swap stories about caves!

[jvowles.livejournal.com]

Kate, Kate, Kate. You must realize you don't lack for moral support!

If anyone starts anything, say the word and I'll "accidentally" sit on them.

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

One corner of online politics is not the whole of fandom.

Yup, that, and remember that depression and anxiety make all of your predictions for the future turn into the most unlikely scenarios of doom and destruction. You'll be fine, it won't be as bad as you think it'll be.