Here's how my mom got rid of a neighborhood cat that decided to pick our deck to repeatedly announce her availability on the slut market, despite there never having been a cat in residence at my folks' place or in any of the nearby homes:
1. Note the pattern: every damned night at 11pm, when presumably the cat's alleged owner went to bed and wanted to be rid of the annoying beast's yowling.
2. At about quarter til, fill up a pail of hot water. (NOT boiling water, just hot water.)
3. Lie in wait on back porch with said water until cat arrives in customary yowling place.
4. Thoroughly douse cat with (now very warm) water. Shout at it a lot. Say words you've spent years telling your children are bad.
5. Repeat five nights running. Cat finally leaves our back porch due to repeated soakings.
6. When cat takes up residence in the vacant house next door's back porch, begin knocking on doors and asking if anyone knows whose cat it is. When culprit is identified, express in no uncertain terms that if the cat isn't contained and/or neutered, it will quickly cease to be a problem, and its remains will be left in several piles on the culprit's front porch.
Yeah, the last was nasty, but this went on for weeks. The neighbor got the hint -- especially after she complained about Mom to another neighbor, who informed her "Don't mess with Pat. One year, someone took the parking place she'd spent all day digging out from 4 feet of snow. She put all the snow back."
(She really did do that -- one year when dad had wrenched his back and both of us kids were sick with chicken pox, she spent all day digging out the car, went to the store to get medicine and food, and came back an hour later to find the neighbor taking her parking space. He had the gaul to laugh at her until she "put the snow back". Needless to say, he never did it again.)
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1. Note the pattern: every damned night at 11pm, when presumably the cat's alleged owner went to bed and wanted to be rid of the annoying beast's yowling.
2. At about quarter til, fill up a pail of hot water. (NOT boiling water, just hot water.)
3. Lie in wait on back porch with said water until cat arrives in customary yowling place.
4. Thoroughly douse cat with (now very warm) water. Shout at it a lot. Say words you've spent years telling your children are bad.
5. Repeat five nights running. Cat finally leaves our back porch due to repeated soakings.
6. When cat takes up residence in the vacant house next door's back porch, begin knocking on doors and asking if anyone knows whose cat it is. When culprit is identified, express in no uncertain terms that if the cat isn't contained and/or neutered, it will quickly cease to be a problem, and its remains will be left in several piles on the culprit's front porch.
Yeah, the last was nasty, but this went on for weeks. The neighbor got the hint -- especially after she complained about Mom to another neighbor, who informed her "Don't mess with Pat. One year, someone took the parking place she'd spent all day digging out from 4 feet of snow. She put all the snow back."
(She really did do that -- one year when dad had wrenched his back and both of us kids were sick with chicken pox, she spent all day digging out the car, went to the store to get medicine and food, and came back an hour later to find the neighbor taking her parking space. He had the gaul to laugh at her until she "put the snow back". Needless to say, he never did it again.)