Don't worry. There's a happy ending.

[dreamer_easy]

Feeling suicidal gives you, paradoxically, a kind of power. You're in a kind of end-of-the-world, anything-goes state: all bets are off, no rules apply.

For many people this would probably mean an orgy of unwise sex, drinking, drugs, and generally crazy self-destructive adventure. For me it's more like "Hey! Let's blow off the gym, go to the mall instead, and buy a Spirograph! Yeah!"

There's more, though. A mate reckons suicide is, in part, an expression of anger. It's rage flowing in the wrong direction. We turn our urge to damage and destroy in on ourselves.

O my little cyberbullies, you should never pick on someone when they're suicidal. Not because they might do away with themselves, leaving you scarred for life with guilt. Because they're in the mood to wreck something, and it might as well be you.

I'm saved again and again as my pain turns itself into rage. Thanks for helping, you sad little turds.

Comments

[fred-god-of.livejournal.com]

?

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

I mean: I refuse to hurt or destroy those around me by hurting or destroying myself. I have responsibilities here.

[fred-god-of.livejournal.com]

That's been kind of my way of dealing with it too, and the Welbtrin I'm on actually works most of the time, which is excellent. I doubt I'll ever stop having that thought, but I guess the important thing is not acting.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

*thumbs up*

Our peeps need us.

[fred-god-of.livejournal.com]

Kitten icon wins at life ;-)
I think I want a Spirograph now, they look fun, you should post some of the swirlies you make.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

Check this out - I found the original!



(Dodgy grab from an underlit piece of video footage, fixed up a bit in Photoshop Elephants.)

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

Oh, they are sooooo gorgeous....