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Psychopharmaceutical courage
Dec. 8th, 2006 08:56 pmSaw my shrink yesterday. He agreed with me that my total lack of alarm at the bus crash a few weeks back was probably the effect of the antidepressant I take, Aropax, which also has good effects on anxiety problems.
Saw my father's mother this morning. Mama is very far gone with cancer, but is being well-looked after and seems comfortable. We're not close, but I was surprised by not only my lack of grief, but my lack of fear. A tiny prickle when I first saw her in the hospice bed, then nothing, not even when nurses with needles arrived.
I don't think there's any correct way to respond to these events, but my own calm is disturbing. I know some of it is down to my beliefs, both Pagan and Zen, but how much is the medication?
Nagged by the trivial fight I got into recently with some online idiots. I have a real hot button when it comes to people ignoring what I said and inventing things to accuse me of. That makes it too easy for said idiots to provoke me, so it's useful to be aware of. (Interestingly, a milder form of the same ire extends to the fans who attribute outrageous statements to RTD. Is this related to the general great ape sense of fairness?)
Saw my father's mother this morning. Mama is very far gone with cancer, but is being well-looked after and seems comfortable. We're not close, but I was surprised by not only my lack of grief, but my lack of fear. A tiny prickle when I first saw her in the hospice bed, then nothing, not even when nurses with needles arrived.
I don't think there's any correct way to respond to these events, but my own calm is disturbing. I know some of it is down to my beliefs, both Pagan and Zen, but how much is the medication?
Nagged by the trivial fight I got into recently with some online idiots. I have a real hot button when it comes to people ignoring what I said and inventing things to accuse me of. That makes it too easy for said idiots to provoke me, so it's useful to be aware of. (Interestingly, a milder form of the same ire extends to the fans who attribute outrageous statements to RTD. Is this related to the general great ape sense of fairness?)
