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Relax and enjoy it
Apr. 2nd, 2009 09:23 amIn today's SMH, Miranda Devine writes in praise of Bettina Arndt for calling on married women to return to their "wifely duty" and provide sex for their husbands. Despite feminist retorts, tiredness from housework is no excuse, explains Devine; the latest ABS survey shows that Australian men and women, on average, work the same number of hours when you combine paid and unpaid work.
The ABS report is based on a national statistical survey, including everyone who filled in a Census form, while Arndt's book is a qualitative study of ninety-eight couples she selected from hundreds of volunteers. Comparing real couples with statistical averages can only be misleading: how many women actually work exactly 16 hours and 25 minutes each week? What's more, averages hide important details: "housework" is not all equally difficult and tiring. Women do two and a half times as much child care as men, and much more of men's child care is playing with the kids.
"... a monogamous relationship must imply mutual commitment to satisfying each other's sexual needs", says Arndt. Her advice to women: provide sex even if you don't want it, or you are committing a form of domestic violence, and risk losing your husband. (Women don't really want sex very much, she explains, but even if you don't want it, you'll enjoy it.) Apparently, there is nothing a husband can do to interest his wife in going to bed with him, which is why Arndt has no advice for men. Surprising for a sex therapist who talks about "mutual commitment", and who you'd imagine would have plenty of tips for reawakening flagging sexual desire.
But putting all that aside... Jon, what are our chances of getting home from the gym early tonight? >:)
The ABS report is based on a national statistical survey, including everyone who filled in a Census form, while Arndt's book is a qualitative study of ninety-eight couples she selected from hundreds of volunteers. Comparing real couples with statistical averages can only be misleading: how many women actually work exactly 16 hours and 25 minutes each week? What's more, averages hide important details: "housework" is not all equally difficult and tiring. Women do two and a half times as much child care as men, and much more of men's child care is playing with the kids.
"... a monogamous relationship must imply mutual commitment to satisfying each other's sexual needs", says Arndt. Her advice to women: provide sex even if you don't want it, or you are committing a form of domestic violence, and risk losing your husband. (Women don't really want sex very much, she explains, but even if you don't want it, you'll enjoy it.) Apparently, there is nothing a husband can do to interest his wife in going to bed with him, which is why Arndt has no advice for men. Surprising for a sex therapist who talks about "mutual commitment", and who you'd imagine would have plenty of tips for reawakening flagging sexual desire.
But putting all that aside... Jon, what are our chances of getting home from the gym early tonight? >:)
