![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Somewhat conflicted about John Birmingham's op-ed about the "Little Zangief" incident. Somewhat conflicted about the whole thing, really. You will probably have been unable to avoid it in some form or other - a phone video, taken at a Sydney school, apparently showing a twelve year old boy harassing and punching a sixteen year old boy, who lifts him and hurls him to the ground.
Like Birmingham, I can't help cheering internally at what is, allegedly, the sort of decisive retaliation bullying targets normally only dream of. As my shrink and I are discovering, the rage has never left me. In fact, she's asked me to ponder who I am most angry with. Again like Birmingham, I know the blame falls on the system which tacitly allowed, and is still allowing, some students to abuse, harass, and even assault others throughout their secondary schooling. I think he's right to say that advising bullying targets not to retaliate is unrealistic, that "bullying is going to happen because they're [ie the school system] too weak, or overwhelmed or just not interested enough to stop it. The victims need to be give better options than just 'walk away'." (ETA: And here are some tips. I've used these myself.)
He and I part company over his "kids these days", "bring back the lash" remarks, though. This is not a new phenomenon. If anything, he's got it backwards: these days, bullying is increasingly recognised for the mental and physical health disaster it is, and some effort is being made to tackle it, though I'm unclear how effectively.
No, the only thing that's new about it is the use of technology to harass the younger child (his voice hasn't even broken, for heaven's sake) and his family. As Birmingham remarks of the older boy, "And yet we know nothing about him. Or the bully he smashed." Certainly not enough to justify abusive phone calls to the latter's family or posting their (purported) address. (Note the cautious remarks posted by a self-defense trainer - we don't know what happened before or after, and we can't see everything that's happening.) Fortunately for the younger boy, there'll be someone else looking foolish plastered all over the Internet by next week.
ETA: As you can see for yourself (via YouTube or Today Tonight), the Terror's claim that the younger boy's mother has demanded the victim apologise is, at best, a lazy error. (ETA: they've now taken the story down - bit late now it's been mindlessly repeated all over the planet, but better than nothing.)
ETA: SMH: "... research is thin on the ground as to whether fighting back is effective in stopping bullying [but a 2006 Australian study] found that those who fought back were at greater risk of remaining a victim than the traditional passive victim. Those who reacted aggressively when provoked were up to 2.6 times more likely to be bullied." ETA: Found a press release giving more details of the study: "young people low in self-restraint (for example unable to manage behavioural responses in social situations) were an easy target for teasing due to their inclination to react 'hot-headedly' to provocation."
ETA: The bullying target has given a TV interview. A bullying expert expresses concern about the effect further exposure will have on the young man. I think he's right to be concerned. OTOH, the kid's getting to tell his story to a supportive world - the exact opposite of the isolation and contempt that drove him to suicidal thoughts. I can't say what it'll mean for him in the long term, but in the short term, my gods, how wonderful!
ETA: The younger boy has also given a TV interview. Although the interview is very sympathetic to him, I seriously question whether it's right for either of these kids to be further exposed like this; but perhaps humanising him in this way will reduce the abuse he and his family have been receiving. (The show tries to squeeze him into a penitent script, without complete success.) Interestingly, the twelve year old states that he was bullied all through primary school, and as a result has a tendency to "snap" when someone "mouths off" to him; I couldn't help thinking of the study mentioned above, in which easily provoked kids were favourite bullying targets.
You may possibly be wondering why I seem so sympathetic to the alleged bully. Well he's young, and foolish, and has already been more than repaid for his actions; but mostly, it's because I know what it's like to have what seems like the whole world looking at you with contempt.
Like Birmingham, I can't help cheering internally at what is, allegedly, the sort of decisive retaliation bullying targets normally only dream of. As my shrink and I are discovering, the rage has never left me. In fact, she's asked me to ponder who I am most angry with. Again like Birmingham, I know the blame falls on the system which tacitly allowed, and is still allowing, some students to abuse, harass, and even assault others throughout their secondary schooling. I think he's right to say that advising bullying targets not to retaliate is unrealistic, that "bullying is going to happen because they're [ie the school system] too weak, or overwhelmed or just not interested enough to stop it. The victims need to be give better options than just 'walk away'." (ETA: And here are some tips. I've used these myself.)
He and I part company over his "kids these days", "bring back the lash" remarks, though. This is not a new phenomenon. If anything, he's got it backwards: these days, bullying is increasingly recognised for the mental and physical health disaster it is, and some effort is being made to tackle it, though I'm unclear how effectively.
No, the only thing that's new about it is the use of technology to harass the younger child (his voice hasn't even broken, for heaven's sake) and his family. As Birmingham remarks of the older boy, "And yet we know nothing about him. Or the bully he smashed." Certainly not enough to justify abusive phone calls to the latter's family or posting their (purported) address. (Note the cautious remarks posted by a self-defense trainer - we don't know what happened before or after, and we can't see everything that's happening.) Fortunately for the younger boy, there'll be someone else looking foolish plastered all over the Internet by next week.
ETA: As you can see for yourself (via YouTube or Today Tonight), the Terror's claim that the younger boy's mother has demanded the victim apologise is, at best, a lazy error. (ETA: they've now taken the story down - bit late now it's been mindlessly repeated all over the planet, but better than nothing.)
ETA: SMH: "... research is thin on the ground as to whether fighting back is effective in stopping bullying [but a 2006 Australian study] found that those who fought back were at greater risk of remaining a victim than the traditional passive victim. Those who reacted aggressively when provoked were up to 2.6 times more likely to be bullied." ETA: Found a press release giving more details of the study: "young people low in self-restraint (for example unable to manage behavioural responses in social situations) were an easy target for teasing due to their inclination to react 'hot-headedly' to provocation."
ETA: The bullying target has given a TV interview. A bullying expert expresses concern about the effect further exposure will have on the young man. I think he's right to be concerned. OTOH, the kid's getting to tell his story to a supportive world - the exact opposite of the isolation and contempt that drove him to suicidal thoughts. I can't say what it'll mean for him in the long term, but in the short term, my gods, how wonderful!
ETA: The younger boy has also given a TV interview. Although the interview is very sympathetic to him, I seriously question whether it's right for either of these kids to be further exposed like this; but perhaps humanising him in this way will reduce the abuse he and his family have been receiving. (The show tries to squeeze him into a penitent script, without complete success.) Interestingly, the twelve year old states that he was bullied all through primary school, and as a result has a tendency to "snap" when someone "mouths off" to him; I couldn't help thinking of the study mentioned above, in which easily provoked kids were favourite bullying targets.
You may possibly be wondering why I seem so sympathetic to the alleged bully. Well he's young, and foolish, and has already been more than repaid for his actions; but mostly, it's because I know what it's like to have what seems like the whole world looking at you with contempt.
