![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
(no subject)
Feb. 11th, 2014 10:16 pmHaven't posted about bullying in ages. Just need to get these thoughts out of my head.
Wil Wheaton sent away a "social justice" bully on Tumblr with a well-deserved flea in their ear. I was impressed as hell, but left a little shaky, as is typically the case. The day before, I'd not been shaken but merely disappointed by someone railing against the "fetishisation" of Olympic ice skater Yuzuru Hanyu by anime fans, who was unable to respond to even polite questions with anything other than defensive bluster.
I was reminded of both types of dysfunctional "social justice" blogging when skimming through Lois' Grant's People Who Make Your Life Hell on the bus today. You don't have to look far in online social justice communities to find Grant's "Queen of Hearts", whose method is to explode: "She blows up in your face without warning, taking authority where she has none. She also carves you up with cutting criticism... Some people grovel, hoping for peace through submission, giving the Queen outrageous control." The desperate grovelling is a familiar response; I've done it myself plenty of times in my life, but of course, it only encourages more of the same. In fact, the example from Wheaton's Tumblr was typical, in that his apology itself was the subject of attack.
If no amount of apologising stops the abuse; if the other person misuses the legitimate problem of the "tone argument" as an excuse to behave however they want and treat you however they please; if what you say gets distorted, exaggerated, or simply reversed; if you can't seem to do or say anything right; you're not facing genuine, honest anger, you're dealing with bullying.
Not dissimilar to Grant's "Queen of Hearts" is the "Bear", who "likes to intimidate, humiliate and ridicule in public". The "public" part is a crucial element of bullying in the social justice community; it is, after all, a community, and one very concerned with telling right from wrong - and, unfortunately, the right people from the wrong people. ("Let Wil Wheaton serve as an example of What Not To Do!") Grant's "Cheshire Cat", who always knows better than you, is also a familiar figure. I used to be terribly intimidated by misogynists on Usenet who sounded authoritative. I soon learned their confidence masked ignorance, blunders, and outright lies. Similarly, the Tumblrer attacking others for "fetishising" the skater went to pieces when questioned. Like so many others, I think she'd picked up the concept online, but didn't understand it well enough to discuss it.
I also perused Gerald A. Arbuckle's Dealing With Bullying. He provides some striking examples, including sexual abuse in the Catholic Church and Australia's treatment of asylum seekers. Arbuckle offers one explanation for the distortions and lies used by online bullies: narcissism. "They are simply blocked from hearing the logic of arguments used in favour of their victims so that when positive information is provided in support of them, bullies will immediately attack their victims from another angle."
Arbuckle and Grant both discuss the reasons that bullies mistreat others. I think that, when "social justice" bullies are themselves members of mistreated groups, there may be a direct connection between that behaviour and the damage done to their self-esteem and self-confidence by injustice. Arbuckle writes that violence is provoked by "firstly, frustration resulting from failure to achieve one's desires and, secondly, an attack or threat of attack on one's life, material well-being, self-image or self-esteem." Experiencing prejudice means experiencing that frustration, and those attacks, direct and indirect, large and small. (Arbuckle goes on to describe "symbolic bullying", where the target may represent "a culture which they [the bully] feel is oppressing them.") Grant says of the "Bear" that he believes he has "the right to punish the world for what the world has done to him... other people are his enemy and he has the right to crush them." I accumulated immense damage from the small, continual, everyday assaults on my self-esteem at school; I can only begin to imagine the damage caused by a lifetime of being harassed, caricatured, and excluded by the surrounding culture (let alone being denied basic needs like shelter or medical care). The resulting insecurity and rage wouldn't excuse bullying others, but it might help to explain it.
Of course, they might just be assholes.
Wil Wheaton sent away a "social justice" bully on Tumblr with a well-deserved flea in their ear. I was impressed as hell, but left a little shaky, as is typically the case. The day before, I'd not been shaken but merely disappointed by someone railing against the "fetishisation" of Olympic ice skater Yuzuru Hanyu by anime fans, who was unable to respond to even polite questions with anything other than defensive bluster.
I was reminded of both types of dysfunctional "social justice" blogging when skimming through Lois' Grant's People Who Make Your Life Hell on the bus today. You don't have to look far in online social justice communities to find Grant's "Queen of Hearts", whose method is to explode: "She blows up in your face without warning, taking authority where she has none. She also carves you up with cutting criticism... Some people grovel, hoping for peace through submission, giving the Queen outrageous control." The desperate grovelling is a familiar response; I've done it myself plenty of times in my life, but of course, it only encourages more of the same. In fact, the example from Wheaton's Tumblr was typical, in that his apology itself was the subject of attack.
If no amount of apologising stops the abuse; if the other person misuses the legitimate problem of the "tone argument" as an excuse to behave however they want and treat you however they please; if what you say gets distorted, exaggerated, or simply reversed; if you can't seem to do or say anything right; you're not facing genuine, honest anger, you're dealing with bullying.
Not dissimilar to Grant's "Queen of Hearts" is the "Bear", who "likes to intimidate, humiliate and ridicule in public". The "public" part is a crucial element of bullying in the social justice community; it is, after all, a community, and one very concerned with telling right from wrong - and, unfortunately, the right people from the wrong people. ("Let Wil Wheaton serve as an example of What Not To Do!") Grant's "Cheshire Cat", who always knows better than you, is also a familiar figure. I used to be terribly intimidated by misogynists on Usenet who sounded authoritative. I soon learned their confidence masked ignorance, blunders, and outright lies. Similarly, the Tumblrer attacking others for "fetishising" the skater went to pieces when questioned. Like so many others, I think she'd picked up the concept online, but didn't understand it well enough to discuss it.
I also perused Gerald A. Arbuckle's Dealing With Bullying. He provides some striking examples, including sexual abuse in the Catholic Church and Australia's treatment of asylum seekers. Arbuckle offers one explanation for the distortions and lies used by online bullies: narcissism. "They are simply blocked from hearing the logic of arguments used in favour of their victims so that when positive information is provided in support of them, bullies will immediately attack their victims from another angle."
Arbuckle and Grant both discuss the reasons that bullies mistreat others. I think that, when "social justice" bullies are themselves members of mistreated groups, there may be a direct connection between that behaviour and the damage done to their self-esteem and self-confidence by injustice. Arbuckle writes that violence is provoked by "firstly, frustration resulting from failure to achieve one's desires and, secondly, an attack or threat of attack on one's life, material well-being, self-image or self-esteem." Experiencing prejudice means experiencing that frustration, and those attacks, direct and indirect, large and small. (Arbuckle goes on to describe "symbolic bullying", where the target may represent "a culture which they [the bully] feel is oppressing them.") Grant says of the "Bear" that he believes he has "the right to punish the world for what the world has done to him... other people are his enemy and he has the right to crush them." I accumulated immense damage from the small, continual, everyday assaults on my self-esteem at school; I can only begin to imagine the damage caused by a lifetime of being harassed, caricatured, and excluded by the surrounding culture (let alone being denied basic needs like shelter or medical care). The resulting insecurity and rage wouldn't excuse bullying others, but it might help to explain it.
Of course, they might just be assholes.
