![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dreamer_easyI'm flabbergasted.
My worst phobias are flying and surgery. I have panic anxiety disorder, so this isn't a question of a little amusing nervousness, it's life-affecting stuff. Jon has been sent by himself to the US because I couldn't face the flights. I have been too terrified to ask doctors questions about my health. Before a flight or an op, it's been normal for me to experience weeks of nagging panic.
Until now. Not only did I handle this years' numerous flights with only a little help from Xanax, but I've just chatted with the anaesthetist who'll be knocking me out in January so my ankylosaurus can finally be repaired. We agreed all I'll need is a little premedication on the day, maybe a little in the week beforehand.
At no time during this phone conversation did I experience the slightest worry. (You're taught to rank 'em out of 10. I didn't even get to 1.) Once in the past I was so shaken with fear that I had Jon call a doctor to ask a question on my behalf; my heart has never beaten so hard. This time, bupkes.
Is it the Aropax? My excellent new shrink, who's all but cured me of social phobia and fear of flying? Am I just getting old and kind of Buddhist?
Whatever's going on, I feel like I'm rejoining the human race, after long years spent needlessly shaking and weeping and retching with fear.
My worst phobias are flying and surgery. I have panic anxiety disorder, so this isn't a question of a little amusing nervousness, it's life-affecting stuff. Jon has been sent by himself to the US because I couldn't face the flights. I have been too terrified to ask doctors questions about my health. Before a flight or an op, it's been normal for me to experience weeks of nagging panic.
Until now. Not only did I handle this years' numerous flights with only a little help from Xanax, but I've just chatted with the anaesthetist who'll be knocking me out in January so my ankylosaurus can finally be repaired. We agreed all I'll need is a little premedication on the day, maybe a little in the week beforehand.
At no time during this phone conversation did I experience the slightest worry. (You're taught to rank 'em out of 10. I didn't even get to 1.) Once in the past I was so shaken with fear that I had Jon call a doctor to ask a question on my behalf; my heart has never beaten so hard. This time, bupkes.
Is it the Aropax? My excellent new shrink, who's all but cured me of social phobia and fear of flying? Am I just getting old and kind of Buddhist?
Whatever's going on, I feel like I'm rejoining the human race, after long years spent needlessly shaking and weeping and retching with fear.
