(no subject)

[dreamer_easy]

Up half the night again, of course, but my brain is gradually starting to heal itself after the combined trauma of stress, panic, tranks, and jetlag. On past OS trips I've been badly caught out by terrible attacks of anxiety and depression, because I didn't realise how much the whole process shakes up your neurotransmitters, etc - even just the dehydration, sleep deprivation and general hormonal confusion caused by flying for long distances. (I didn't use the CPAP on the plane, and was amused to keep waking up with enormous snorts, something I haven't done for weeks now. When we got home from the airport, I slept for about 16 hours, breaking my 1993 record of 14 hours after being awake for about two days straight, half of that spent in a continuous airborne panic attack.) It didn't help this year that I was so stressed out that I was having vicious headaches - I still am - like being stabbed with two icepicks in the base of the skull, over and over. I cried at the airport, and again, pathetically, panicking during a bumpy takeoff. Jon did his best to soothe me. But how am I going to do this again next year? And the next?

At this moment I feel relatively sane for the first time since arriving. Back when I was transitioning from Aropax to Zoloft, I had that terrific few days where I was on both drugs at the same time (whoops), and I was happily off my rocker. That's is what the afterlife will be like, the Amduat: the gentle, burbling, dreamlike thoughts, hypnogogic and calm, awake but not really aware, or vice versa. The last few days have been the nightmare version of that state: bewilderment, paranoia, overload, despair; a facade of cheerful chatty normality instantly blown to confusion by a question or decision. Hell instead of heaven. How am I going to do this again next year? And the next?

Also, maybe the diner wasn't such a good idea after barely eating anything for two days. *glort*

Note to future self: sleeping on plane = dehydration = appalling sore throat. Bring lozenges. ETA: Also Vegemite I am not kidding beeyatch.

Comments

[iblis-kukl.livejournal.com]

[pbristow.livejournal.com]

If I can find a copy that costs less than my entire month's food budget, I'll be snapping it up for sure! =:o}

Watching NuWho became much more enjoyable once I stopped watching the Confidentials and paying any attention to soundbites elsewhere. Right now I'm re-watching seasons 2 thru 4, and finding it way less annoying than first time round. (I *might* brave the confidentials for S4 once I've actually watched it all the way through.)

JN-T had it right: "First, enjoy". Analysing the authorial intent can come later, preferably when the author is no longer in the hot seat and can afford to actually reveal things that it would have been extremely dumb to reveal at the time.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

Porque, as the kidz say online?

[outsdr.livejournal.com]

How am I going to do this again next year? And the next?

For starters, you stop adding more stress on top of what you have by looking too far into the future to things that haven't happened yet.

For seconders, next year, you bring the family to you instead, eliminating the problem.

[pbristow.livejournal.com]

Re. air travel: [SYMPAHUGS]

"Note to future self: sleeping on plane = dehydration = appalling sore throat. Bring lozenges."

Or, indeed, a large bottle of water. But... Do they allow that, anymore? Is that silly "no liquids" rule still in force...?
Stripping my hand luggage to the minimum so that I could have plenty of *enjoyable* food and drink with me on my last trip to the US was one of my best decisions ever. That, and pre-booking an aisle seat close to the toilets! =:o} One good novel can enable one to pleasantly pass *so* much more time than the equivalent weight/volume of tape-player-plus-tapes... Especially when you read as slowly as I do. =:o\

[brewsternorth.livejournal.com]

I think the "no liquids" rule is still in force as far as the security checkpoint, but (absurdly) that doesn't mean you can't get a bottle of water after security in the terminal shops.

But yes, hydration important on planes. Usually the flight crew are savvy to that, so if you wake up with a dry mouth you can get a glass of the wet stuff if you ask.

[jvowles.livejournal.com]

As someone who's gotten into the habit of making crazy-long trips (though not quite as epic as yours) every year for the last half-decade, there are a few tips I could give you - distraction, over-hydration, saline spray, and booze are among them. My sinuses play merry hell with me on long flights, I am occasionally surprised by mild claustrophobia, and I don't *fit* in the damned planes very well to begin with -- discomfort-mitigating tricks can be lifesavers.

Worrying will do you no good, but of course that doesn't mean it's easy to stop doing so. The mantras, reminders, and meds are, of course, supposed to help with that.

Advice from a strange place

[edorm.livejournal.com]

I'm like you - international flight = borked throat. I always take lozenges these days, BUT

Doing some research while I was in San Fran in Feb, I discovered that lozenges with extract of marshmallow in them worked incredibly well. I bought a packet and munched on them for th whole week I was there. Fixed my throat up after a day.

Can't remember the brand, but try and find em if you can.

[whochick.livejournal.com]

You managed it, which is a considerable achievement allowing for what you were up against. Let future trips look after themselves for a while - nothing you can do about them until they roll around anyway ;)

Congrats on getting through it all and I completely sympathise. I think I'm still a bit dehydrated, plus I left my Vegemite at home even after buying a special 'travel tube.'

::is heartbroken::

I'll look forward to seeing you in Chicago. My phone is all busted up but Sara's works fine, so if you need to get hold of me, Sara is the best bet :)