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[personal profile] dreamer_easy
I think it's in Image of the Fendahl where Leela says, "My tribe has a saying: if you're hurt, look for a man with scars". This invented proverb has long helped me make sense of my life. Call it a divine plan, or call it finding meaning in events: the reason I am ill in so many ways is so that I can learn how to help others when they are ill. Nobody escapes illness; it's an inevitable feature of a universe that literally wouldn't exist without imperfection. I've just had more practice at it than some (and less than others).

To boil these cosmic speculations down to a concrete example: if I didn't have diabetes, I wouldn't have been forced to overcome my fear of needles, and I wouldn't be able to give Frank his painkilling injections.

Because I'm so trashed so much of the time, I'm never going to be a Florence Nightingale, nor a mother. During Frank's weeks of sickness, I've often found myself thinking that even looking after a cat is too bloody hard, financially*, physically**, and emotionally, and that, once the boys are gone, that is it, I will never get another pet.

The awful thing is, I think I might actually be good at this.


* Insure your pets. Insure your pets. Insure your pets. (We'll be fine, thanks to Frank's bank account - and thank gods, because you do not want to be making decisions based on cost.)

** Jon is providing all kinds of essential support - especially keeping the laundry going! Frank's ability to get cat food, water, drool, Flagyl, and poo all over everything is proving prodigious. :)

Date: 2011-12-26 01:56 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] outsdr.livejournal.com
"I wouldn't have been forced to overcome my fear of needles, and I wouldn't be able to give Frank his painkilling injections."

I was going to comment on this the other day, and say how proud I was that you were able to overcome your fear of needles and give Frank injections.

And then I thought, what if she doesn't realize she should be afraid, and will once I mention it?

So I didn't say anything, lol. But I'm still proud of you.

Date: 2011-12-26 02:10 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] dreamer-easy.livejournal.com
I am so fucking determined I scare myself. Damn the torpedoes, full speed ahead!!!

Date: 2011-12-26 04:27 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] outsdr.livejournal.com
"Courage isn't just a matter of not being frightened, you know. It's being afraid and doing what you have to do anyway."

The Doctor, Planet of the Daleks.

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