The state of Australia

Sad but true commentary on ten years of Howard by HarrangueMan, here. Includes a inspiring moment of grace from a fellow plane passenger.

Ankylosaurus: the Operation

For about a decade, I didn't know I had Panic Anxiety Disorder, and I had no way of coping with those overwhelming attacks of shaking, weeping, retching terror. The first time I had an operation, back in 1988, I was quite convinced I would die under the anaesthetic. I had to wait alone in a little room for them to come and get me. I read and immediately re-read the same short story, frantic to distract myself as I became more and more and more terrified. My heart was beating so rapidly my whole body shook with it.

Yesterday's surgery was nothing like that at all. Doctors have become more sensitive to anxiety problems, I've become better at communicating how serious mine is. The anaesthetist and I arranged for me to take my tranquilliser, Xanax, before the operation. Just like before, I had to wait alone in a little room, but this time, instead of becoming more and more frightened, I became more and more relaxed as the Xanax did its work. I read a little, meditated a little, and drowsed a lot.

I just beat my worst fear, albeit with chemical help. I look forward to the day I don't even need the little pink pills.

( More impressions, mostly for my own interest... )