Dreamer Easy

Matt Smith sex dream?! Already?!

The best part was that I was cheating on Richard Hammond.

Dear brain, kindly stop having dreams in which I am in a television or stage production with Mr Tennant. It's pathetic. I thank you.

Angel sex dream wtf

Oh well, at least I got a decent night's sleep for the first time in weeks!

I dreamed that my brothers arranged a battle between magical and conventional warfare, although both sides had tanks. It took place on a huge lawn in front of an embassy. I know this because at one point I was inside the building, hastily choosing an appropriate gown from a long rack which lowered itself from a balcony to the ground while each group of women grabbed what they could. I think the battle must have been a draw. The lawn was wrecked, but the only other effect was that Tim had gone insane and chased a giraffe upstairs. (Frank was fine, albeit nursing a collection of orphaned kittens, a good trick for a tom). The battle apparently involved solving a whole lot of logic or maths puzzles; I know this because Lawrence Miles collected them up and took them away to rewrite the outcome of the fight.

Such a complicated Highlander dream. It was a horror movie in which a dozen young men were pitted against each other by an evil mastermind in some sort of series of tests, which if you screwed up you were horribly killed in some appropriate way. Methos and Duncan involved because female character (self? other? Amanda?) endangered, but she's taken the ammo out of their guns (!). Much crossing over during all of this with oops naked at the US family reunion ("I knew there was something I forgot!"). Blimey.

John Simm sex dream #2. Much of which was exciting Life on Mars action in the style of a video game, with Sam Tyler and self doing kung fu vs villain on unicycle. (Sam shot at baddies' car while shouting "Bang! Bang! Bang!" Bunch of tough-looking guys arrive while we're under siege and I ask him "Ours or theirs"? "Ours," he replies, and we are saved.) Tragic romance involved incredibly complex thing where Mr Simm could turn into his sister (?!) whom it turned out my brother had once dated. But we both knew it was doomed because this couldn't possibly be real. Broken-hearted, I was driven home by my dad in an awesome red convertible (after the usual dreamly public transport difficulties).

WHERE THE BLOODY HELL WAS MR GLENISTER DURING ALL THIS I ASK YOU?! *bangs brane in hopes of getting it working properly*

The sleep doctor explained that antidepressants push your REM sleep closer to morning, which is why you remember all this malarkey in such vivid detail.

John Simm sex dream. Hee hee hee hee hee.

Guest starring Philip Glenister, with whom, oddly, I am not having an odd little self-aware romance. However, the two gentlemen, self, and an odd woman whose identity I never did establish are on the run from the law. (Simm, as Master, terrifyingly hypnotises a taxi driver into abandoning his vehicle.) We hole up somewhere thanks to odd woman getting a job, but when mean boss fires her, we are doomed. Terrible noises from boss' office make us think Glenister is spiflocating him. We dash to the rescue, but he is merely stealing hundreds of toy pandas thanks to a chute that's opened in the roof, etc. etc. etc. as George Orwell might say.

Had my first Philip Glenister dream.

He he he he.

No you can't has.

Awesome, adulterous Green Wing dream last night. Mac and I trying to swap mobile numbers without Caroline twigging. (She did.) Hee hee hee!

I dreamed that Baltar off BSG was using some kind of teleporter that slips your atoms through the spaces between other atoms, and some baddies were trying to work out how it works so they teleported a bit of metal, and it got stuck in Baltar's shoulder. ow (The really strange thing was the show turned out to be Lost.)