Cutting

[dreamer_easy]

I've got a book here called "Cutting the Pain Away: Understanding Self-Mutilation". I want to summarise some of the information it gives.

Self-harm is not a suicide attempt.

It is common; the book estimates that two million people in the US harm themselves.

Reasons for self-harm include relieving anxiety; "jolting" oneself out of emotional numbness; getting a kind of control over one's life.

The trauma of sexual abuse, physical abuse, and rape are linked to self-harm. Growing up in an "invalidating enviroment", in which the child is dismissed, belittled, or even punished for expressing their feelings, is also a factor.

The book suggests ways of getting more control over the urge to self-harm. Here are some of them:

- delaying, perhaps with the help of a distraction
- being with others or in public
- "Some people find that the impulse to injure themselves passes if a loved one holds them tightly when they are feeling overwhelmed by their feelings or out of touch with their bodies."
- saying "No!" or "Stop!" out loud
- remove items such as razors from the home
- strong tastes and smells (eg bite an unpeeled lemon)
- squeeze ice cubes in the hand, or stick fingers into ice cream
- harm objects instead of yourself, such as cutting a piece of heavy cardboard, ripping up an old phone book
- snapping a rubber band against your wrist (this is my own method)
- draw on yourself with a red pen or red paint

The book suggests ways of telling someone that you are self-injuring, such as writing it down rather than telling themn face-to-face; having a third person, such as a friend or therapist, present; reassuring them that you're telling them because you trust and love them.

It also suggests ways of helping someone who is self-injuring, such as letting them know you're willing to talk about it if and when they want; staying with them if you think they're in danger; not judging, demanding, or making ultimatums; and encouraging them to see a therapist.

I also found some relevant links:

A closer look at self-harm (summarises the research)

Deliberate self-harm from Reach Out!, an Australian site for young people

A self-harm fact sheet from Teen Health, another Australian site.

Comments

[platypus]

I am strangely jealous of anyone who *has* a loved one to hold them tightly in that kind of situation. But yes, a lot of the things listed are/have been helpful for me. It's been a good long time since I've done anything resembling hurting myself. I'm rarely tempted. But not never.

Just got to ask to make sure...

[outsdr.livejournal.com]

Is your interest in this due to recent random events, or is there a deeper purpose to your research?

thank you for writing this publicly

[dawn-guy.livejournal.com]

Because self-harm is poorly understood in among general practitioners of medicine and counselling, it can be difficult for an SHer to come forward and ask for help. A significant problem with communities of people who self-harm is that the worry about the other participants in the group and descriptions of problems can trigger episodes.

The book sounds like a very good resource.

My (now adult) child's urges to harm herself did not start decreasing until she left an invalidating environment (which I should not have brought her into, and from which I am in some ways still recovering). Her self esteem continues to improve and she's now aiming to get an MLIS when she's finished her BA next year.

[rainbowjehan.livejournal.com]

The rubber band snap didn't work for me, but the red pen idea actually might.

[the-cockfighter.livejournal.com]

- the following comment has sexual content –

One of the difficult issues that I've faced in the last few years has been dealing with the increase incidence of barebacking amongst casual sexual relationships (unprotected sex) within the gay community. It’s an insane thing to do, but I have had casual partners where, they as the receptive partner, has wanted to bareback. It is such a hard thing to resist, especially when you think it is your partner wanting to take all the risks. I know there are gay men who put personal ads online identifying themselves as bug chasers (wanting to become HIV-positive) and it fills me with sadness. But the thing is for a few times last year, I’ve wondered whether my life would become easier if I was HIV-positive. The thinking is that in some way it sorts out the HIV-issue once and for all, but I wonder if there is in that thinking indication of self-harm behaviour?

I thought I’d mention this, as I think its needs to be voiced, silence does equal death. Whilst it is comforting that HIV rates are falling in NSW, the same can not be said for Victoria. Its not such an obvious form of self-harm behaviour, but I wonder if it should be looked at in the same way? Current campaigns look at risks and deal with STIs through warnings. ACON (AIDS Council of NSW) address the issue by making gay men aware of the situations where infection is likely to occur such as in sex parties, with crystal meth use, or when one makes assumptions about the HIV status of one's partner. The Grim Reaper advertisements, campaign through fear, has fatigued community concern. And shaking your super-ego finger from the high moral ground never works. Perhaps it should be looked at as a form of self-harm?

For those concerned - I am negative and I've taken many steps to modify my behaviour, such as taking myself out of the situations when I'm likely to engage in barebacking. But even when I'm writing this, I just don't know how much I can trust myself. Unlike other forms of self-harm beahviour, the consequences are down the track and the immediate is far from being unpleasant.