Sweet, maybe… passionate, I suppose… but don’t ever mistake that for nice.

[dreamer_easy]

"Niceness, of course, can serve a person well. People like to be near you. You don't alienate people because you rarely contradict them. You are eternally bouncy and chipper and content and respectful. But in being nice, you have to walk a very fine line. Niceness can work for you or against you, and unless you are loaded with charisma, constant niceness can spell disaster. For to be truly nice, you must veil what you think and feel. Since being nice is really about seeking the approval of others, you slide into the habit of being deferential. You give in on things rather than put up a fight. [...] In essence, we allow others to take advantage of us. And many of us feel compelled to do it again and again. After all, as we know, people don't like women who aren't nice."
- Leora Tanenbaum, Catfight: why women compete with each other, pp 170-1

I can't even sit down and read this book properly from cover to cover. It just makes me want to cry. I recognise so many of my own experiences, and so much of the nonsense that goes on inside my own head.

Comments

[murasaki-1966.livejournal.com]

Yes, but its shares the honours with Sweeney Todd. Both are fantastic.