More about self harm

[dreamer_easy]

I've been doing a little bit of reading online. I'm still finding no evidence that teens self-harm to fake depression because it's trendy. What I am learning is that self-harm is common, but sometimes dismissed as mere attention-seeking. (There is a hugely obvious parallel here with sexual assault which I am just not getting into.)

Thinking about it more, I realised that I have engaged in self harm on a few occasions - thankfully, I have never injured myself or even drawn blood. I have pulled my own hair, slapped myself in the face (this is quite funny to think about now - try and picture it!) and pushed the tip of a pen into my hand. Luckily these were all isolated occasions; my shrink explained that if you start hurting yourself, it can become powerfully addictive.

I think the most disturbing remark in the metaquotes discussion that prompted these postings was one about trendy kids making "shallow cuts on their wrists" - in other words, fake suicide attempts to grab attention. In fact, cutting on the arms is one of the most common forms of self-harm: on the occasions when I have felt the impulse to hurt myself, that's what I've felt like doing. And seemingly minor injuries can be the symptoms of major distress.

Check out this info from the UK's National Self Harm Network. Also, the one time I came close to cutting myself, a page of advice from Australia's Reach Out helped a lot.

Comments

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

Depressed people often engage in self-destructive behaviours (physical self-harm, verbal or emotional self-flagellation) because it's a sort of quick fix to feeling good if other people respond with sympathy. It's not healthy, but they don't know any healthy way to handle those feelings.

No, we don't.

(Did you mean people who are feeling down, or people who are mentally ill?)

[alryssa.livejournal.com]

My understanding of it is anything but - in my experience, it's a method of control - when someone in such a mindset feels like they have no control over anything else in their lives, their body is the primary target for that control, which manifests not only as cutting, but anorexia, bulimia...

I've noticed that in most cases, attempts to offer sympathy will be refuted rather quickly, or the person will downplay it as if it's nothing.

[kateorman.livejournal.com]

In my own case, I think that on some occasions it was a kind of self-punishment; on other occasions, it came out of overwhelming stress, and I think a need to somehow convey to others how distressed I was. On the worst occasion, I didn't cut, because just telling a handful of people that I wanted to was enough. Their sympathetic responses meant a great deal.

I know from my own experience that people with depression often feel extremely guilty about how our illness affects others and how we complain all the time. We tend to downplay it so as not to be any trouble. Often this only drives those around us even more wiggy.

(I'm only speaking about depression here - I can't speak to self-harm associated with other mental illnesses, such as eating disorders or personality disorders.)

[antikythera.livejournal.com]

Whaddya mean 'we'? ^^;;

I mean that it's a behaviour I've seen often in people with depression, myself included, and that's my interpretation of why we do it. It's a way of interacting with other people that can become a bad habit if it's being used in lieu of more proactive ways of improving one's mood. Which is better, being able to be forgiving and gentle with yourself in order to soothe your self-esteem, or publically beating yourself up until someone says "no no, stop, you're a good person"? It's not a good thing to be addicted to the latter.

It's not only seen in mindsets that we characterize as mental illness; people with temporary and lower-level depression can do it too.