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In the dark
Dec. 9th, 2009 04:13 pmA kilo or more of salt is essential when viewing the Top Gear "news", including the latest report that a scientist is calling for UK street lights to be switched off, which I think is based on a Telegraph news item from 27 November.
The report in question, Artificial Light in the Environment, makes no such recommendation. In fact, it says the opposite - that some evidence suggests lighting doesn't always make much difference to the accident rate, but that the causes of accidents are complex and it's not clear how much lighting (and when, and where) is helpful and how much is useless and even dangerous. What the report does actually recommend is research into the best way to light roads and other public places, to get the best result (and cause the least harm) for the taxpayer's money. (For example, there's no point in aiming part of the street light's illumination into the sky!)
Similarly, testimony that criminals can use over-bright lighting alternating with pitch darkness to remain unseen comes from a representative of the Institute of Lighting Engineers; the report recommends not switching off lights, but using "lower levels of more uniform lighting" to improve security and safety.
Google fail, I say. Especially since if you Google the chair's name you get a jillion image results.
The report in question, Artificial Light in the Environment, makes no such recommendation. In fact, it says the opposite - that some evidence suggests lighting doesn't always make much difference to the accident rate, but that the causes of accidents are complex and it's not clear how much lighting (and when, and where) is helpful and how much is useless and even dangerous. What the report does actually recommend is research into the best way to light roads and other public places, to get the best result (and cause the least harm) for the taxpayer's money. (For example, there's no point in aiming part of the street light's illumination into the sky!)
Similarly, testimony that criminals can use over-bright lighting alternating with pitch darkness to remain unseen comes from a representative of the Institute of Lighting Engineers; the report recommends not switching off lights, but using "lower levels of more uniform lighting" to improve security and safety.
Google fail, I say. Especially since if you Google the chair's name you get a jillion image results.
More Top Gear debunking yey
Jul. 21st, 2009 11:07 amWhat I should be doing: cleaning up for the annual real estate inspection tomorrow.
What I am doing: pondering Jeremy Clarkson's repeated remark that human activities only contribute 3% of atmospheric CO2.
Now, I don't know if Jezza's figure is correct in the first instance, but according to Wikipedia, 95% of the stuff comes from natural processes, so it's probably pretty close. However, as Wikipedia explains:
What I am doing: pondering Jeremy Clarkson's repeated remark that human activities only contribute 3% of atmospheric CO2.
Now, I don't know if Jezza's figure is correct in the first instance, but according to Wikipedia, 95% of the stuff comes from natural processes, so it's probably pretty close. However, as Wikipedia explains:
"Although natural sources represent most CO2 emissions, they do not contribute to the recent observed increase in concentrations because natural sources are balanced by natural sinks that remove carbon dioxide from the atmosphere. The increase in carbon dioxide concentration arises because the increase from human activity is not completely balanced by a corresponding sink."This would explain the huge increase in CO2 levels since the beginning of the industrial age; we may only be producing a little each year, but it's got nowhere to go. Whack the figures into a compound interest calculator and you'll get some idea of the problem. (Plus, at the same time, we're stripping the forests that have been soaking up the naturally produced CO2 for millions of years.) So, even if Jeremy's right about the figure, he's wrong about what it means.
Clarkson. You enormous umph. The government doesn't release heatwave alerts for your personal benefit. It's so that hospitals can get ready. The system was put in place after the heatwave of 2003 killed over two thousand Britons. Remember?
On a quest for Top Gear bloopers, I watched some stuff cut out of the News earlier this year. There are lots of silly lols, as you might expect, and then this really nasty little bit where they slag off a woman for being ugly.
Obviously, the "news" on TG is entertainment, not actual information, as Googling any of their little outrages about the government or environment will quickly demonstrate. But that brief descent into boorishness disappointed me so much that I couldn't help looking up the lady in question, thereby discovering that (a) she probably does know what "novel batteries" means, being a former Director of Advanced Engineering at Rolls-Royce, former chief executive of the Institute of Physics, and so on, (b) her appearance is perfectly normal and in fact she probably looks like your mum and (c) she's around the same age as Clarkson.
They're lucky that bit wasn't broadcast, really: how large a part of TG's audience is made up of perfectly normal-looking women of a certain age? Pissing them off could dent the boys' chances of being voted "weird crush of the year" again. Although I'm sure the ladies would have enjoyed as much as I did what appears to be a helpful offer by Richard to ejaculate into Jeremy's mouth.
(If you're interested, search the PDF of the King Review's Recommendations for Action for the phrase "novel batteries". If you're only slightly interested: cutting CO2 requires r&d to find technological solutions, such as new kinds of batteries.)
ETA: I'm not sure if the TG Australia site provides subtitles / transcripts. If you need one of the bit in question, leave a comment and I'll type it up. ETA: There's a transcript of the relevant bit in the comments.
Obviously, the "news" on TG is entertainment, not actual information, as Googling any of their little outrages about the government or environment will quickly demonstrate. But that brief descent into boorishness disappointed me so much that I couldn't help looking up the lady in question, thereby discovering that (a) she probably does know what "novel batteries" means, being a former Director of Advanced Engineering at Rolls-Royce, former chief executive of the Institute of Physics, and so on, (b) her appearance is perfectly normal and in fact she probably looks like your mum and (c) she's around the same age as Clarkson.
They're lucky that bit wasn't broadcast, really: how large a part of TG's audience is made up of perfectly normal-looking women of a certain age? Pissing them off could dent the boys' chances of being voted "weird crush of the year" again. Although I'm sure the ladies would have enjoyed as much as I did what appears to be a helpful offer by Richard to ejaculate into Jeremy's mouth.
(If you're interested, search the PDF of the King Review's Recommendations for Action for the phrase "novel batteries". If you're only slightly interested: cutting CO2 requires r&d to find technological solutions, such as new kinds of batteries.)
Books read, March 2009
Mar. 31st, 2009 11:59 pmPaul Bowles. The Sheltering Sky.
August Derleth (ed). Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos.
Richard Hammond. As You Do.
Tanith Lee. Drinking Sapphire Wine including Don't Bite the Sun.
Anna Sewell. Black Beauty.
( Books bought and borrowed )
August Derleth (ed). Tales of the Cthulhu Mythos.
Richard Hammond. As You Do.
Tanith Lee. Drinking Sapphire Wine including Don't Bite the Sun.
Anna Sewell. Black Beauty.
( Books bought and borrowed )
The Honey Badger
Mar. 12th, 2009 06:10 pm"But my childhood love of the natural world had forearmed me with a ready enthusiasm for when I finally came face to face with the honey badger in the wild. Actually, getting face to face with a honey badger is surprisingly difficult. They are blessed with the unique and, I should imagine, bloody surprising ability, if you've just caught one by the scruff of the neck, of being able to turn around inside their own skin. Grab one by the neck, look it in the eye and you'll quickly find that that's not its eye you're gazing into any more and its turned round in its skin so that it can stick its teeth out of its own arse and bite your nuts off. And they do enjoy a reputation for doing just that: tearing off the gonads of anyone foolish enough to provoke them. It might be some sort of bitter reaction to their diminutive scale compared to many other creatures - and, boy can I empathise with that one - or it could just be that they've learned over the centuries that jousting with sinister curved horns, snarling, pawing the ground and banging your chest are all well and good if you're a big, impressive animal want to signal your potency to an enemy, but if you're a small and irritatingly cute-looking thing and want to be taken seriously in the seedier end of the jungle, tearinq someone's bollocks off with your teeth does get your message across quickly."- Richard Hammond, As You Do, p 126
(no subject)
Feb. 3rd, 2009 12:22 pmOnly after all that fiddling about in Photoshop did I discover the atheist bus ad generator.
A seven year old interviews Richard Hammond.
KUDOS IS MINE
Go look at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
luluxa's Doctor-Master art. Now.
Beholdceefax_the_sane's Shark Attack 3 picspam!
And thanks tocowboyhd, behold Matt Smith in Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Do you know, I actually went and looked him up on the IMDB when I saw that episode, because I thought he looked vaguely familiar.
Create Your Own Original Star Trek Story flowchart of genius
frzn_mmnt delightfully describes the world according to Aerin (age 0).
Caught in the act. Norte pudew!
The Burroughs 220.
A seven year old interviews Richard Hammond.
KUDOS IS MINE
Go look at
luluxa's Doctor-Master art. Now.Behold
ceefax_the_sane's Shark Attack 3 picspam!And thanks to
cowboyhd, behold Matt Smith in Secret Diary of a Call Girl. Do you know, I actually went and looked him up on the IMDB when I saw that episode, because I thought he looked vaguely familiar.Create Your Own Original Star Trek Story flowchart of genius
frzn_mmnt delightfully describes the world according to Aerin (age 0).Caught in the act. Norte pudew!
The Burroughs 220.
Well, that's _that_ analogy knackered
Dec. 24th, 2008 10:14 amZero Punctuation, reviewing Sim City Societies in February this year: "I suppose the clinching flaw in this game that revolves around keeping people happy is that the people provoke empathy in the same way that Jeremy Clarkson provokes animalistic lust."
Scum British press update
Dec. 21st, 2008 11:48 amDickensian London, Cybermen and two Doctor Whos: Russell T Davies reveals the secrets of this year's Christmas special.
Yes, it's the Mail. What's he going to do, turn down an opportunity to pimp the Xmas special to two million potential viewers? My excuse is that I only found that 'cos I was looking at this: Britain's most UNLIKELY male sex symbols. In a shock result entirely unrelated to an evil fannish campaign, ye Jeremy Clarkson was voted Heat magazine's 'Weird Crush of the Year' for 2008. (His response to this on Top Gear appeared to be genuine discombobulation.)
Quoth women's magazine editor Maureen Rice: "Jeremy Clarkson is very much the choice for women who prefer the ‘retrosexual’ man. He doesn’t pander to women, but neither is he a misogynist — he appreciates women in an old-fashioned way and there is something appealing about his unreconstructed sense of humour and the fact that he only likes cars, in the way blokes used to do." Cf Gene Hunt. Hmmm. I wonder how much of this is that women don't have to guess at their opinions or attitudes, worrying that sensitivity or whatever may be mere lip service.
James May also made the Heat magazine list (Hammond of course won it a while back, although exactly what's "weird" at all about having a crush on a fit doe-eyed bloke with a tent full of hair products is beyond my ken). Comments Rice: "In the testosterone-fuelled surroundings of Top Gear, James May is an oasis of surprising and appealing gentleness. He is also charmingly unkempt with particularly flyaway hair — the kind of man that women want to mother." Ah, but he has a distinct evil streak, which is why I wasn't quite satisfied with the parody of him in BF's Max Warp. (Graeme Garden enjoys himself waaaaaay too much taking the piss out of Clarkson, but the character's just not witty or self-aware enough to be an accurate mockery.)
ETA: hysterically funny comments from fans, plus a priceless pic of Clarkson, at the Auto Trader Blog discussion of the Heat results.
Yes, it's the Mail. What's he going to do, turn down an opportunity to pimp the Xmas special to two million potential viewers? My excuse is that I only found that 'cos I was looking at this: Britain's most UNLIKELY male sex symbols. In a shock result entirely unrelated to an evil fannish campaign, ye Jeremy Clarkson was voted Heat magazine's 'Weird Crush of the Year' for 2008. (His response to this on Top Gear appeared to be genuine discombobulation.)
Quoth women's magazine editor Maureen Rice: "Jeremy Clarkson is very much the choice for women who prefer the ‘retrosexual’ man. He doesn’t pander to women, but neither is he a misogynist — he appreciates women in an old-fashioned way and there is something appealing about his unreconstructed sense of humour and the fact that he only likes cars, in the way blokes used to do." Cf Gene Hunt. Hmmm. I wonder how much of this is that women don't have to guess at their opinions or attitudes, worrying that sensitivity or whatever may be mere lip service.
James May also made the Heat magazine list (Hammond of course won it a while back, although exactly what's "weird" at all about having a crush on a fit doe-eyed bloke with a tent full of hair products is beyond my ken). Comments Rice: "In the testosterone-fuelled surroundings of Top Gear, James May is an oasis of surprising and appealing gentleness. He is also charmingly unkempt with particularly flyaway hair — the kind of man that women want to mother." Ah, but he has a distinct evil streak, which is why I wasn't quite satisfied with the parody of him in BF's Max Warp. (Graeme Garden enjoys himself waaaaaay too much taking the piss out of Clarkson, but the character's just not witty or self-aware enough to be an accurate mockery.)
ETA: hysterically funny comments from fans, plus a priceless pic of Clarkson, at the Auto Trader Blog discussion of the Heat results.
(no subject)
Dec. 17th, 2008 09:01 amCan I just mention that music from the TRON soundtrack featured in Top Gear this season? I thank you.
(no subject)
Nov. 27th, 2008 03:17 pmFell on my face after family dinner out last night and slept from 7 pm to 9.30 am. It becomes clear today that both Jon and I have colds.
Recounting the plots of Top Gear episodes turns out to be an excellent way of keeping a three- and two-year old out of trouble.
Recounting the plots of Top Gear episodes turns out to be an excellent way of keeping a three- and two-year old out of trouble.
The opening of Quantum of Solace is clearly a Top Gear challenge.
In other news, I have, tragically, been eaten by a coyote in the guise of a toy cow. I did request to be "put back" by niece Maeve, four, but she informed me that there was "NO WAY". The cowyote devoured a number of other friends and relations and was last seen lurking in the hood of someone's parka.
Finally, Marsha and I just had to do CPR on a nun in Starbucks. Yay us.
In other news, I have, tragically, been eaten by a coyote in the guise of a toy cow. I did request to be "put back" by niece Maeve, four, but she informed me that there was "NO WAY". The cowyote devoured a number of other friends and relations and was last seen lurking in the hood of someone's parka.
Finally, Marsha and I just had to do CPR on a nun in Starbucks. Yay us.
(no subject)
Oct. 13th, 2008 10:15 am.. that was *&%*ing depressing. Let's have a few lols.
Firstly, does this ring any bells? :D
The subediting prank wot got James May fired. :)
Victim uses remote logon to nab laptop theft suspect. Palpable!
Dr. James Wilson on speed
Take On Me: Literal Video Version
Aeroplane humour: cheeky responses to pilot "squawks"
Finally, I couldn't help smiling at this: The indignant shall inherit the world. I recognise fandom there... and also, uncomfortably, myself, a bit. :)
Firstly, does this ring any bells? :D
The subediting prank wot got James May fired. :)
Victim uses remote logon to nab laptop theft suspect. Palpable!
Dr. James Wilson on speed
Take On Me: Literal Video Version
Aeroplane humour: cheeky responses to pilot "squawks"
Finally, I couldn't help smiling at this: The indignant shall inherit the world. I recognise fandom there... and also, uncomfortably, myself, a bit. :)
(no subject)
Oct. 10th, 2008 04:23 pm"This is a horrible place full of lies, hate, pornography and a billion apostrophes, all in the wrong place."
- Jeremy Clarkson defines the Internet
- Jeremy Clarkson defines the Internet
YouTube-o-rama
Sep. 7th, 2008 04:16 pmJust cleaning out some of my billion bookmarx, so you may already have seen some of these...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13VEonU3hWU
"They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5NxG_rr5aU
Ray Bradbury sells prunes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXU9PaaluEQ
Nelly needs to go to Box Hab...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkod8E7ctjY
... or perhaps not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBDE7WABCvY
Big Pig - "Breakaway". (But what are they singing in the bit that's not in English?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiyiptxPY_s
Richard Hammond, dungeon bitch
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=13VEonU3hWU
"They say of the Acropolis, where the Parthenon is..."
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A5NxG_rr5aU
Ray Bradbury sells prunes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xXU9PaaluEQ
Nelly needs to go to Box Hab...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gkod8E7ctjY
... or perhaps not.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBDE7WABCvY
Big Pig - "Breakaway". (But what are they singing in the bit that's not in English?)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FiyiptxPY_s
Richard Hammond, dungeon bitch
Bric a Brac
Aug. 2nd, 2008 07:43 pmFrom May: Philip Glenister at the Genesis DVD premiere
From June: Facebook changes luck for lonely cat
Also from June: Opinion piece on the demise of the Australian Democrats
Also also from June: Escapee caught in air-con duct
From February 1940: Careless Talk Costs Lives posters
jb_wolfsies overhears a cheeky tram driver.
insidian is starstruck and tongue-tied.
Quotes about stupidity. (It was the first one that got me.)
A marvellous memorial to Grimmy, the departed Boston Terrier, in the form of a brilliant YouTube clip.
This bit was cut from Top Gear for reasons which rapidly become obvious.
Failure is just success rounded down.
When cakes go wrong
Behold ktelqueen's record collection. (We had Goofy Greats.)
Kitten vs air molecules
From June: Facebook changes luck for lonely cat
Also from June: Opinion piece on the demise of the Australian Democrats
Also also from June: Escapee caught in air-con duct
From February 1940: Careless Talk Costs Lives posters
jb_wolfsies overhears a cheeky tram driver.insidian is starstruck and tongue-tied.Quotes about stupidity. (It was the first one that got me.)
A marvellous memorial to Grimmy, the departed Boston Terrier, in the form of a brilliant YouTube clip.
This bit was cut from Top Gear for reasons which rapidly become obvious.
Failure is just success rounded down.
When cakes go wrong
Behold ktelqueen's record collection. (We had Goofy Greats.)
Kitten vs air molecules
(no subject)
Jul. 22nd, 2008 06:38 pmBWA
1989 Jeremy Clarkson
Makes his first appearance around 1 min 20 sec, trying his best, I swear, to look like Michael Knight.
Also: this will never not be funny.
ETA: And this explains a great deal!
1989 Jeremy Clarkson
Makes his first appearance around 1 min 20 sec, trying his best, I swear, to look like Michael Knight.
Also: this will never not be funny.
ETA: And this explains a great deal!
